This is the warcry, stories from the battle front about a modern warriors search for Knighthood, stories of an epic loved affair lived out on a raging battle field.

Shrek forever after, A fairy tale that echoes into real life

Monday, July 12th, 2010

On Friday I took the girls to see Shrek – Forever after. The girls where excited about going to the movies and even more so how the glasses they where wearing would make Fiona come right into the movie theatre (3D is a marvellous thing)

The movie starts with this beautiful family day and Fiona sighing at the end of the day “I wish every day could be like this” and it is roughly. Shrek finds himself in the treadmill of parenthood and everyday life and before the kids first birthday he finds himself longing for the good old days, when he was feared and had time alone.

Pause: Isn’t this just how we see most marriages around us crumble, during this crucial time. The first year of a child, husband and wife dynamics are disrupted and this little thing, wonderful as it is, is demanding 100% time and attention. The woman withdraws her attention from the man and focusses solely on the baby. The man feels he has no place in the family any longer except as a bread winner and retreats into work (If he has taken his question to her earlier, am I a man? Then whatever the answer was before, now more than ever the answer is a resounding no! You can’t do anything right).

In desperation Shrek makes an agreement with Rumplestiltskin. He trades one day of his childhood for a day of pure mean lean green ogreness! As always with agreements the prize is higher than he expected. Rumple takes the day Shrek was born and so, Fiona was never rescued and his children where never born but worst of all Rumplestiltskin is now the king of Far Far Away due to an agreement made by Fionas parents with Rumple to end fionas curse.

Here is where the movie shows its brilliance. In making an agreement with “the enemy” Shrek, not only checks out, but actually goes of to relive the glory days, loosing his wife and children in the process.

Fiona, never rescued out of the tower becomes a strong but guarded (controlling, cynical) woman who does not believe in love anymore.

It is such an apt description of what we see over and over again in men and women around us. Not all men check out completely, not all marriages fail and not all women become controlling and guarded. But the brokenness is there.

Shrek really nails it when he says: “It wasn’t just that I wasn’t there for you to rescue you out of the tower, I wasn’t there for you every day after that either.”

So many men think that once you have gotten her past the dragon out of the tower, that the battle for their bride is over. Truth is it’s a battle we must fight everyday.

Shrek finally realises that he already had all he needed, that the glory days weren’t that glorious and that he now must step up and fight for his bride, his marriage and his family.

Shrek again strikes gold when right at the end he says: “Do you know what the best of it was? I got to fall in love with you all over again”

It is in the battle for our families we learn to love and appreciate what we have.

Shrek forever after is a brilliant movie! It is a fairy tale that echoes with truth and insight into life as it really is. Don’t miss it!

Faith, Trust and Pixie dust

Wednesday, July 7th, 2010

Do you need faith in god to be a knight? The question was asked on my youtube channel. The simple answer is yes and no!

You must have faith to be a knight! Faith is one of the Knightly virtues and there can be no Knighthood without faith. How will you be able to believe in a greater good without faith, how can you choose love and the high road when all you see is selfishness hatred and the low road. It takes faith!

Now having said that I also must point out that for me faith is not simply answering the question: “is there a god?” No for me god is a reality I live in, it is to real to require any faith on my part. It’s an irrefutable fact in my life. Faith for me is to trust god in the little things, to trust that he loves me when I can’t love myself. To trust that he will forgive me when I don’t feel I can forgive myself. To trust that he listens when I cannot feel his presence and to trust that he speaks when I cannot discern his voice.

It requires faith to trust god, to trust other people and to trust that the world can be better than it currently is. It requires faith to believe that the world IS more than meets the eye. Not everything is as it seems. There is magic in the world, and wonder it requires faith to believe that and to see it.

Yes you must have faith to be a Knight. Maybe you do not need faith in god, maybe all you need is faith in love (God is love) or faith in truth (I am the truth) or faith in life (I am the life) or faith that you are walking the right way (I am the way) even though everyone is walking in the other direction. Aslan says in C.S. Lewis, the last battle, You cannot serve virtue and not serve me!

So you cannot e a good Christian without walking the path of knighthood and if Lewis is right, then you cannot walk the path of true knighthood without becoming a good Christian.

Why transparency is NOT a chivalric virtue!

Thursday, June 24th, 2010

Transparency is a buzzword in todays world and especially in the emergent circles. As a church we need to be transparent and as Christians we need to be transparent so that people can know that we are what we say we are and of course to battle all prejudice against both Christian faith and Christian churches. More than ever do we loathe secret societies and lodges for their secrecy.

But I realise slowly that as great as transparency is as a corrective to the obfuscation and secrecy of church in the past it cannot be the future of the church and it cannot be a virtue that guides the path to knighthood.

Please understand me correctly, I still believe that honesty (the core of honour) and a safe environment to truly be oneself is crucial to the Warriors path, I am no longer certain that transparency is.

Let me explain! Transparency and openness, while great in itself completely removes the need for trust. If I know al there is to know about you and can follow your every move every day, I have no reason to trust you, I do not have to trust you because I know all there is to know about you.

We learn to trust each other when we do not know what the other person does once around the next corner. Only privacy allows us to trust each other, and more importantly only privacy allows us to practice and grow in trust.

Trust is the same thing as having faith, and faith IS a chivalric virtue. God does not build faith in our lives by full disclosure. On the contrary God, when asked for a name, answers tongue in cheek, “I am who I am”, walk with me and find out is implied.

It occurs to me that while we often say in modern society that one has to earn trust, I believe to the contrary that, when I trust you, you are built up and become more trustworthy by my faith in you. If I on the other hand mistrust you and require you to prove that you are trustworthy before I trust you, I undermine the relation and mistrust and betrayal are more likely to follow.

This is why transparency is not a chivalric virtue, and why we are called as warriors and knights to trust others before we have reason to trust. Because a broken heart is better than a cold or dead one!

What’s in a name?

Friday, May 28th, 2010

Names are powerful things especially when they describe you well. In the Bible names where given to reflect the parents hope or their expectations. In all sorts of warrior cultures names where given to describe a warriors prowess and aptitude or a name was given for the warrior to grow into.

In the Guardian Angels I was called “Harlequin”, no put aside all those sleazy images of romance books, Harlequin was from the elite elven warriors of Warhammer 40k, performers and formidable warriors, spinning and somersaulting over the battlefield with deadly grace. The name was chosen by me, I was an actor (a poser) wishing to be a warrior, what name would fit better? I also had the tagline that went with my name: The dancer of death, the weaver of shadows and the great avatar of the laughing god.

If we disregard the links to a non-existent fictional religion I wanted to be the dancer of death, deadly and graceful in battle. The weaver of shadows was a tip of the hat to the ninja warriors I was so taken by as a boy but also a hint that I was a master of deception, I had everybody fooled (or so I thought). The laughing god was my tribute to my subversive view of the god of Christianity, that God was indeed a God with humour, a God for whom Joy and freedom was paramount.

At Bootcamp in Wales Craig held a session on the “new name”, the white stone given to all believers in Revelation 12. We where asked to ask God what is my new name? Apart from the fact that I was sure that God would not answer this, I was also concerned that any voice I would hear would just be my own….

Before Craig had finished talking I asked the question: Lord what is my new name, what do you think of me? Immediately I had a word come to the forefront of my mind.

Faithful, you are Faithful!

Yea right!? God do you know me? I spent the next thirty minutes arguing the point. To be honest I am anything but… To start with, I have left God and the faith several times. I have been unfaithful in all my relations and would never ever use that word to describe myself. I have also spent years battling an addiction to internet porn and lust. Yet here I was trying to convince myself that this was not God but my own idea, I had just come up with this word by myself, but how could I?

And God speaks:

Faithful, you are faithful. That is What I made you, this is your strength and your glory. Pursue this.

Back home battered with assaults on this one conviction I look up the hebrew word for faithful (allready know the greek pistos, to believe to have faith) and I am blown away by what I find. The most common hebrew word for faithful is ‘aman:

539. ‘aman, aw-man´; a primitive root; properly, to build up or support; to foster as a parent or nurse; figuratively to render (or be) firm or faithful, to trust or believe, to be permanent or quiet; morally to be true or certain; once (Isa. 30:21; interchangeable with 541) to go to the right hand:—hence, assurance, believe, bring up, establish, + fail, be faithful (of long continuance, stedfast, sure, surely, trusty, verified), nurse, (-ing father), (put), trust, turn to the right.

In this little word, I find the sum of all things I want to be. True, I want to be a true knight, full of truth (the hebrew for truth is emunnah derived from ‘aman). I want to be steadfast, loyal. I want to be a nursing father, to build others up. But more than anything I want to live the life where I trust God! Where I am full of faith, faithful.

No longer the dancer of death or the weaver of shadows, no longer the incarnation of a false god. I am faithful!

What is your name? Go ahead ask him, he wants you to know!


What was stolen.

Thursday, May 27th, 2010

It is Saturday night, I am standing at the camp fire talking to some men about how it came to be that I went to Bootcamp. I tell the story of how I came by the book (“Wild at Heart: Discovering the Secret of a Man’s Soul” (John Eldredge)) quite by accident and how God had told me to set up a mens ministry to heal and recover broken hearts.

Wait a minute “God told me”!!??

The minute I get home to Malmö again I look up my old Journal and read the following under July 30 2008:

This is it! On the train this morning I believe God called me, he called me out specifically to raise up a ministry for men, healing and recovering their broken hearts

Everything I have lived through in my life has primed me for this one task. My childhood, the angels, my preaching ministry (Beauty, Warriors, Joy). Even the trouble and miserable failings we have had in our marriage.

All this is qualifying me uniquely to embark on this mission.

Ande the upside is that it does not matter where they put me, it does not matter if we plant or lead a corps, city or countryside or even what country. I can do this anywhere.

Hanna said: “And it will heal you on the way” How true! She is a gift from God.

As of today I am no longer a youth worker or a youth minister (I will minister to youth still) I am a Pastor on a mission to rescue mens hearts.

How did this get lost, I mean, it is still on the agenda, it is still on the list of things to do. But how did this go from being the call of God and my primary mission to a thing that I will get to whenever I find the time?

Could it be that the enemy fears this mission and would have me put it of as long as possible, de-prioritise and most of all forget that it is God that commissioned me, commissioned this work.

Follow my reading …

Monday, November 9th, 2009

As a Salvation Army Officer, pastor, public speaker, thinker, theologian and human being, I read a lot. And as I do I find some really cool quotes and interesting thoughts. I have decided to keep publishing these quotes and uplifting/provocative thoughts in a separate forum so that those who do not lie to read wordy (and sometimes rambling and aimless) blog posts.

So without a bone of shame in my body I hereby promote my own Tumblr page where you can read these quotes and take part of these thoughts. If you would rather aggregate them in your RSS reader you can capture the feed here.

While this feed is also available via my twitter feed, it just looks much better in your RSS reader if you take the feed straight from tumblr.

A return to romance

Monday, May 11th, 2009

Chivalry was born in the romances, Gawain and the green Knight, Le Mort D’Artur and the other romances are filled with this over the top rose tinted chivalry. It was a response to the cold scientific light of the renaissance but also a remembrance of a time, that while it had it’s own flaws, when progress for progress owns sake was not worshipped. A time when Love not science was the most important virtue.

The Bible is, in my eyes, a great romance. God creates humans to enjoy a loving intimate relationship with someone other. We rebel and turn away and then at great cost God pursues us throughout time to offer reconciliation at every turn.

In this light I think that the Christian life is a life of chivalry, a life where we live in the great romance of God and it is up to us to discover the romance and adventure awaiting us as we approach the ultimate mystery.

But just as we are urged to love God with all our hearts, souls and minds we are also asked to love our neighbour as ourselves. So As we have been loved by God we are to love each other. Ever pursuing each and every precious individual to share the love.

It is time to leave the modernistic way of life that focusses on progress and scientific method and return to a warmer and much more human approach. It is time to return to romance.

In preparation of our orders – Army life

Thursday, March 26th, 2009

Page_3So having spent nearly two years being told that we are going to be told where to go, we are now given a consultation where we have to reply to our appointment.

It is a scary thing to be responsable for such a big decision especially after you have been lulled into the false security that someone else will do it for you. However this responsability is what we have been asking for since we first considered officership, now that it is given to us, I am not sure I want it.

Nevertheless it is now time to grow up and leave the nest….

Changed to bring change.

Tuesday, March 24th, 2009

Found this clip on Brian Mclarens blog, listen enjoy and be changed!

Remember

Monday, February 9th, 2009

I lost my keys, again, I need to be writing an essay, I need to go to the library, and I must hurry to get my kids, and I cannot find my keys. Frantically I look through the flat, no luck….

Hang on a minute, what good is it to be a friend of an omniscient ruler of the universe if He can’t help you locate the keys….

Father, I have lost the keys, please help me find them…. Then I do something strange, I don’t stop and listen, I keep looking I keep rummaging through the children’s toys, I am getting angry and sad. Why would God not help me, is he holding out on me? An hour later, I sigh in defeat. – I can’t do this! As I start working up courage to go tell Margret that I lost yet another set of keys, I feel a stirring in my spirit, my eyes focus and I am looking at my keys, right there on the kitchen counter, under a paper from Angelina’s school.

If I had only stopped and listened from the beginning. If I had only trusted in God’s heart.

I vow to myself, again, to remember that God answers prayer and that I must live that way.